41:23 the test is not to say…45:45 avoiding harming a…
Patience & trialsFrom the masjid's own video, Apr 4, 2026.

Patience starts at the first shock

Rahma Center · Mustafa Umar

“Avoiding harming a Muslim is wajib; it's a requirement.”

The khateeb, at 45:45

Watch the khutbahFamily kit
In one sentence

Patience means remaining mindful of Allah and controlling our responses at the first shock of grief or frustration, cultivated by slowing down and avoiding harm to others.

The khutbah in 6 steps

  1. Introduces patience through the Prophet’s encounter with a grieving woman at a grave.
  2. Explains healthy grieving and the Prophet’s patience when she rebuffed his advice.
  3. Warns that victims can become oppressors, using Yusuf’s brothers, Bani Israel, and modern history.
  4. Explains that genuine patience is tested during the first shock, before emotions settle.
  5. Applies patience to queues, the Kaaba, traffic, technology, and multitasking.
  6. Urges listeners to slow down in prayer and relationships, then closes with supplication.
Try this week
During grief or anger, stay mindful of Allah and express pain without shouting, cursing, blaming, or lashing out.
When a situation becomes heated or unproductive, walk away instead of taking the other person’s words personally.
Do not push, shove, or cut in line; prioritize avoiding harm over optional religious acts.
Slow down in prayer and during meals or conversations, put away the phone, and pay attention to the moment.
Sources the khateeb cited
Quran 3:102Calls believers to fear Allah and remain Muslim until death.
Sahih al-BukhariThe Prophet advises a grieving woman to be mindful of Allah and patient, teaching that patience is needed at the first shock.
Quotes

In the khateeb's words

“the test is not to say eventually when you're okay now let me be patient after I went and I threw something at somebody”
Rahma Center · Lake Forest, CA
Play from 41:23
“avoiding harming a Muslim is wajib it's a requirement and touching the stone is a sunnah and so fulfilling the wajib the requirement of not hurting anybody else is a priority over touching that stone”
Rahma Center · Lake Forest, CA
Play from 45:45
Talk about it at home

For the dinner table

Today’s khutbah taught that patience is most important at the first moment of grief, anger, or frustration. We should stay mindful of Allah, express pain in healthy ways, and avoid taking our feelings out on other people. The speaker reminded us that even people who have been wronged must not become oppressors, and that avoiding harm is more important than an optional religious act. We can practice patience by slowing down in prayer and family time, putting our phones away, and paying attention to the people and moments in front of us.

  1. What helps you stay calm when something upsetting happens?
  2. Where do we need to slow down and pay better attention as a family?
  3. How can we avoid hurting others when we are trying to get what we want?
Where it was given

The masjid

Rahma Center27121 Towne Centre Dr., Suite 150, Lake Forest, CA 92610KhateebMustafa UmarMore khutbahsArchiveAll khutbahs at Rahma Center61 khutbahs
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Qalam · Carrollton, TX · Oct 23, 2026Patience means grieving without rejecting Allah“Holding yourself together does not mean that you can't be emotional.”ICGT · Perrysburg, OH · Oct 17, 2026Patience should guide major decisions“You have to be patient and you have to think twice before taking any decision in your life.”Tawakkul does not mean to refuse help.18:22NHIEC · Union City, NJ · Oct 31, 2026Trust Allah through hardship and grief