Family & marriageFrom the masjid's own video, Oct 31, 2026.
Protect relationships when disagreements arise
“Don't let a moment of disagreement turn into conflict where years of good are forgotten like that.”
In one sentence
Disagreements are inevitable, but relationships are protected when people reject negative assumptions, take responsibility, repair quickly, remember past goodness, and communicate toward understanding rather than victory.
The khutbah in 5 steps
- Introduces inevitable disagreement and the danger of assuming bad intentions.
- Explains the Quranic principle of not forgetting past goodness, even during separation or divorce.
- Urges training against haste and using the best words, tone, timing, and body language.
- Applies Gottman’s criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling framework to family and community conflicts.
- Closes with a practical conversation checklist: choose a sound goal, use a constructive method, seek understanding, and take a timeout when flooded.
Try this week
Check whether you are assigning negative motives; address the situation or behavior rather than labeling the person.
Acknowledge your contribution, apologize, ask forgiveness, and keep making a repair attempt without blaming the other person.
Seek a trusted helper early when you lack the skills to resolve a disagreement.
Remember the other person’s past goodness and preserve respect while handling rights and disagreements.
Before speaking, choose the goal, understanding, reconciliation, alignment, or preserving the relationship, and use careful words, tone, timing, and body language.
If emotionally flooded, call a timeout, breathe, relax, make dhikr, and return to the conversation when calm.
Quotes
In the khateeb's words
“The problem comes when we make a negative attribution about the other person.”
“Don't let a moment of disagreement turn into conflict where years of good are forgotten like that.”
“When it comes to couples coming together and discussing an issue that they're struggling with, they are a team tackling that problem.”
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