Parenthood is a trust, not control
“Being dutiful to your parents is not a hammer that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala gave you to strike down your children.”
Parenthood is a sacred trust from Allah for which parents will be held accountable, so they must raise their children with dua, tawhid, prayer, and righteous treatment rather than using parental authority to control or harm them.
The khutbah in 9 steps
- Opening takbir and khutbah introduction
- Children and wealth are simultaneously blessings of this life and a fitna that can distract from Allah
- Parents are responsible for those under their care and will be questioned about their treatment
- The first duty of parenthood is to make sincere dua for one's children
- Parents must teach children tawhid and warn them against shirk, following Luqman's example
- Parents must prepare children for the realities of dunya and akhirah
- Parental mistreatment has consequences: the hadith of the boy who hated his father
- Do not weaponize birr al-walidayn or threaten to cut ties with adult children
- Closing duas and janaza announcement for brother Jafid
In the khateeb's words
“It is not for you to bring them here to the masjid. And tell the shaykh or the imam or the teacher, teach my children the importance of salah. But it is that you yourself show them.”
“birrul walidain, being dutiful to your parents is not a hammer that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala gave you to strike down your children.”
For the dinner table
The khutbah reminded us that children are among Allah’s blessings, but they are also a trust and a test. Parents are responsible for making dua for their children, teaching them belief and salah, and showing those practices through their own example. The khateeb also warned parents not to use respect for parents as a way to control or silence their children. Children were created for a different time, so parents should guide them with faith while recognizing their individuality and circumstances. Families should protect their bonds, listen with humility, and ask Allah to make both parents and children righteous.
- What helps you remember Allah during a busy day?
- What is one way our family could make praying together easier or more joyful?
- How can parents and children show each other that it is safe to speak honestly?
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