Family & marriageFrom the masjid's own video, Feb 3, 2026.
Healthy parenting requires firm, loving guidance
“Parenting is not about keeping your child pleased with you.”
In one sentence
Parents should see themselves as accountable shepherds who protect and lead their children through loving, firm, consistent, age-appropriate guidance rather than simply seeking their approval.
The khutbah in 6 steps
- Parents are charged with protecting themselves and their families, including their children’s future well-being.
- The shepherd metaphor frames parenting as leading children and guarding them from danger.
- Parents should accept children’s displeasure when setting wise boundaries, while avoiding both permissiveness and tyranny.
- Healthy authority combines mercy, firm principles, gentle correction, consistency, and respect for dignity.
- A developmental framework is offered: play with young children, teach etiquette around seven, and accompany teenagers around fourteen or fifteen.
- Discipline means teaching, and parents should measure their role by accountability to Allah rather than their children’s approval.
Try this week
Set boundaries even when children become upset or accuse parents of being unloving.
Avoid both over-controlling children and allowing them unrestricted freedom.
Keep rules consistent rather than changing them with the parent’s mood.
Correct children privately and gently while preserving their dignity.
Explain mistakes and teach what children should do differently in the future.
Adjust parenting to children’s development: play, teach etiquette, then provide compassionate companionship.
Quotes
In the khateeb's words
“parenting is not about keeping your child pleased with you. Parenting is about leading the child.”
“We must be firm in principle. But we must be gentle in our approach.”
“The question the parent asks themselves as they raise the child is not, "Does my child like me? Does my child like me? Does my child approve of me?"”
“Because discipline is about teaching, not about punishment. And too many of us conflate the two.”
Talk about it at home
For the dinner table
The khutbah teaches that parents are responsible before Allah for protecting and guiding their children. It encourages parents to lead rather than simply keep children happy, using boundaries that are firm but loving. Parents should avoid both harsh control and excessive permissiveness, and discipline should teach rather than punish. Correction is best done privately and with respect for a child’s dignity. With patience, children may eventually recognize loving guidance as care.
- What is one family rule that helps protect or guide us?
- How can someone correct a mistake without embarrassing the other person?
- What does being firm and gentle at the same time look like?
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