Love in family life must confront abuse
Love in marriage and family life is only truly loving when governed by devotion to Allah, mercy, justice, and accountability; abuse in any form must be recognized, confronted, and addressed through community and professional help.
The khutbah in 6 steps
- The khutbah frames love as a blessing that can become neglect, hatred, or abuse when it displaces love for Allah.
- A hadith about the wife of Al-Waleed ibn Uqba illustrates the Prophet’s staged response to domestic violence and appeal to Allah.
- Domestic abuse is described as emotional, physical, financial, spiritual, and sexual, with community data showing its prevalence.
- The speaker distinguishes caretaking from male power, urges self-examination of anger and control, and invokes the Prophet’s example.
- Listeners are urged to recognize patterns early, involve imams and professionals, and use local services to protect victims and stop abuse.
- The khutbah closes with prayers for justice and protection, followed by brief announcements about donations, voting, and community events.
In the khateeb's words
“That just because something is happening behind closed doors, does not mean that no one is going to find out.”
“When you realize you get upset at your two-year-old and you're about to slap them, there's nothing virtuous about this, my dear brothers.”
“So whether it's something happening within you or something happening within someone else or you see it from afar, it is our imperative.”
For the dinner table
The khutbah reminds us that love is meant to be shaped by love for Allah and by mercy, not by control or harm. Abuse can be physical, emotional, financial, spiritual, or sexual, and it can affect women, men, children, spouses, and parents. We should notice anger and controlling behavior early, ask ourselves what the Prophet Muhammad would do, and seek help from imams, health and wellness services, or qualified professionals. If we see abuse in our family or community, we should bring it to light through proper protocols and support the person being harmed. Allah gives us the chance to recognize our wrongs, protect one another, and restore justice and mercy.
- What does it look like to show love without controlling someone?
- When you feel anger rising, what could help you pause before saying or doing something harmful?
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