Family life requires duties, not control
“The ideal parent does not exist.”
Family life should be guided by fulfilling one's obligations before Allah, honoring each person's rightful claims, and recognizing that only Allah has absolute authority.
The khutbah in 7 steps
- Frames family relationships around obligations rather than claiming rights.
- Explains individual accountability and treating others as one wishes to be treated.
- Addresses children: honor imperfect parents, recognize their sacrifices, and avoid grudges.
- Addresses parents: accept imperfection, respect generational differences, and teach patiently.
- Emphasizes spiritual education and connection to Allah and the masjid.
- Balances the rights of parents, spouses, and children while reserving absolute rights for Allah.
- Closes with prayers for guidance and righteous conduct.
In the khateeb's words
“The real credit Goes to the person Actually who treats nicely When the other Actually is not Fulfilling their obligations”
“The ideal parent Does not exist The ideal father The ideal mother Does not exist So your parents Gave you what they have”
“Do not impose Your own practices On your children For they were created For a different time Than you were”
“The only one who has Absolute unrestricted rights So to speak Upon us Is Allah Subhanahu wa ta'ala”
For the dinner table
Today Dr. Bayoun talked about families. Most of us think about what others owe us, but on the Day of Judgment Allah will ask each of us about what we owed others. So our job is to be a good son or daughter, a good parent, a good husband or wife, even when others fall short, and to treat people the way we would like to be treated, not the way they treat us. He reminded us that no parent is perfect, that our parents gave us the best they had, and that nobody wishes more for us to be better than them than our mother and father. He asked parents to be patient teachers, to understand that each generation lives in a different time, and above all to connect their children's hearts to Allah and the masjid. He also explained that everyone in a family has rights, but only Allah has complete rights over us, so we should try to give each person their fair due.
- What is one thing you can do for someone in our family this week, even if they forget to do something for you?
- Why do you think nobody wants you to be better than them more than your parents do?
- What is one thing that helps you feel close to Allah or to the masjid?
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