8:43 Any type of…12:45 Focus on what you want…24:53 unless you actively…
Character & conductFrom the masjid's own video, Feb 7, 2026.

Speak gently and clarify misunderstandings

ICCH

“Focus on what you want the person to walk away with.”

The khateeb, at 12:45

Watch the khutbahFamily kit
In one sentence

The khutbah argues that careful, gentle, audience-aware communication is an act of worship that protects relationships and accountability before Allah, urging listeners to clarify misunderstandings and practice these skills with others.

The khutbah in 5 steps

  1. Establishes communication as a Quranically guided responsibility amid family challenges.
  2. Warns through hadith that careless speech can have severe consequences.
  3. Teaches concise, audience-adapted, gentle communication, especially with children and elders.
  4. Uses the Banu Quraida incident and a Malay hadith reading to show how sincere people can misunderstand and why clarification matters.
  5. Calls listeners to study the Prophet’s communication style and improve communication with family, friends, colleagues, and Allah before Ramadan.
Try this week
Keep corrections concise and focused on the main takeaway.
Adapt examples and language to the listener’s age, background, and understanding.
Use gentleness with children, spouses, parents, colleagues, friends, and neighbors.
Ask people to clarify what they meant instead of assuming intentional misunderstanding.
Study not only what the Prophet said, but how, when, and to whom he communicated.
Use available resources, including the Family and Youth Institute website, to improve communication.
Sources the khateeb cited
Surah 16Supports inviting others with wisdom, beautiful preaching, and gracious argument.
Surah 17Commands believers to say what is best because speech can create division.
Surah 3Connects gentleness and mercy with maintaining people’s attachment and trust.
Sahih al-BukhariWarns that a careless word can have grave consequences in the Hereafter.
Quotes

In the khateeb's words

“Any type of communication, verbal communication, once a word comes out of the mouth, it can never be taken back. You can apologize a million times, but the word has already left”
ICCH · Hillsboro, OR
Play from 8:43
“Focus on what you want the person to walk away with. Don't nitpick. Don't get distracted.”
ICCH · Hillsboro, OR
Play from 12:45
“unless you actively force yourself to go out and ask for clarification and ask what was the real message you're going to miss out on it all together”
ICCH · Hillsboro, OR
Play from 24:53
Talk about it at home

For the dinner table

The khutbah teaches that communication is part of our worship because our words affect both our relationships and our accountability before Allah. We should speak gently, keep our message focused, and adapt our language to the person listening. Misunderstandings can happen even when people are sincere, so we should ask for clarification instead of assuming bad intentions. Before Ramadan, we are encouraged to improve how we communicate with Allah and with the people around us.

  1. When has asking for clarification helped you understand someone better?
  2. How can we make our words gentler at home this week?
  3. What is one communication habit you want to improve before Ramadan?
Where it was given

The masjid

Islamic Community Center of Hillsboro7270 NW Helvetia Rd, Hillsboro, OR 97124Jumu'ah Jummah 1 12:30 PM · Jummah 2 1:30 PMArchiveAll khutbahs at ICCH41 khutbahs
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