Speak less and choose beneficial words
“Is it going to benefit me?”
Because speech is counted among one's deeds, Muslims should learn when to speak and restrain irrelevant, excessive, sinful, and argumentative talk, choosing beneficial, kind words that protect brotherhood and earn Allah's pleasure.
The khutbah in 6 steps
- Explains that the tongue is accountable and requires knowledge about when and how to speak.
- Recaps avoiding irrelevant and excessive speech by pausing to consider whether words benefit anyone.
- Defines al-khawdu fil-ba'til as delving into sinful topics, private matters, and envy of unlawful lifestyles.
- Uses hadith to contrast unnoticed speech that earns divine pleasure with speech that earns divine wrath.
- Explains al-mira'u wal-jidal, warning that ego-driven arguments harm relationships and can misguide people.
- Urges listeners to leave arguments, apologize first, and communicate kindly.
In the khateeb's words
“Is it going to benefit me? Or is it going to benefit that person that I'm going to speak to?”
“Because usually what happens is debating and arguments, usually it leads to someone not being happy with an individual.”
“If you go and apologize first, Allah will give you much more reward and Allah will raise your darajah.”
“If you need to give somebody something, do it in a proper manner, in a manner of muhabba.”
For the dinner table
The khutbah teaches that our words are part of our deeds, so we should not speak carelessly. We should avoid pointless conversations, excessive talking, sinful subjects, and arguments driven by ego. Before speaking, we can pause and ask whether our words will benefit anyone. If a disagreement arises, we should explain kindly, leave the argument when possible, and apologize first when we have caused harm. These acts of restraint and humility can earn Allah's pleasure and strengthen our relationships.
- What is one conversation you could make more beneficial this week?
- Why can it be hard to stop arguing when you think you are right?
- What does a kind apology sound like?
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