Character & conductFrom the masjid's own video, Jul 3, 2026.
Listen before offering advice
“One of the most effective strategies to connecting with people is to seek first to understand, then to be understood.”
In one sentence
Effective guidance begins by listening with compassion and understanding, regulating our reactions, and then responding constructively rather than shaming people.
The khutbah in 5 steps
- Explains that people need to feel understood, not merely heard.
- Applies the lesson to parents and youth, warning that anger, disgust, and fear can shut down honest communication.
- Recommends repeating back what was heard, avoiding assumptions, and asking clarifying questions.
- Shows how understanding another person's perspective makes advice more relevant and strengthens relationships.
- Closes with reminders, supplications, and standard second-khutbah recitations.
Try this week
Regulate immediate anger, fear, or disgust before responding.
Repeat back what you understood without adding assumptions about motives or intentions.
Ask curious clarifying questions instead of jumping to conclusions.
Seek first to understand, then explain your own perspective.
Listen early, before a relationship reaches crisis.
Sources the khateeb cited
Quotes
In the khateeb's words
“Sometimes, when we are trying to help someone, the greatest challenge we face is our ability to tolerate our own discomfort at what's being said to us.”
“The goal of communication, especially with those that we are responsible for, is to guide them towards what is best for them.”
“One of the most effective strategies to connecting with people is to seek first to understand, then to be understood.”
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