Character & conductFrom the masjid's own video, Oct 31, 2026.

Control the urge to argue

“Promise a house in the suburbs of Jannah for someone who abandons arguing.”

The khateeb, at 9:58

In one sentence

The urge to argue can strip away guidance, damage relationships, and deepen social division, so believers should control their speech, examine their intentions, and pursue reconciliation.

The khutbah in 7 steps

  1. Frames argumentation as a cause of misguidance and the opposite of beneficial action.
  2. Explains arguing as a powerful desire and emphasizes controlling reactions and speech.
  3. Praises abandoning arguments even when one is right while distinguishing harmful quarrels from respectful debate.
  4. Uses examples involving ego, showing off, antagonism, and the Prophet's patience with Abdullah ibn Ubayy.
  5. Turns to reconciliation, repairing relationships, and resolving disputes before the Hereafter.
  6. Connects personal conflict to communal division, racism, wars, Gaza, and Palestine before closing with supplications.
  7. After prayer, a guest urges local Muslims to vote early and participate in civic decisions.
Try this week
Notice the urge to add one more point or minute, and stop the exchange before it escalates.
Check whether a dispute is for Allah or for the nafs and a hidden desire.
Control speech by prioritizing silence, reflection, remembrance, and beneficial conversation.
Abandon arguing even when you believe you are right, while reserving respectful evidence-based debate for legitimate purposes.
Seek reconciliation with estranged family members, friends, business partners, or others affected by conflict.
Begin interactions from common ground and examine patterns of useless talk or excessive laughter.
Vote early in the local election and participate in decisions affecting children and the community.
Sources the khateeb cited
Sahih al-BukhariThe hadith about Allah's most hated person being the hostile antagonist supports condemning habitual quarrelsomeness.
Quotes

In the khateeb's words

“Trials don't bring people down. Their reactions to trials bring them down. Trials don't bring people down. Their reactions either bring them up or bring them down.”
ICPC Clifton · Clifton, NJ
Play from 9:12
“Promise a house in the suburbs of Jannah for someone who abandons arguing.”
ICPC Clifton · Clifton, NJ
Play from 9:58
“Most of the private conversations are a hujj against the human being, proof against him, not for him.”
ICPC Clifton · Clifton, NJ
Play from 11:57
Talk about it at home

For the dinner table

This khutbah taught that arguing can pull us away from guidance and good deeds. Even when we believe we are right, controlling our tongue and checking our intentions can be a sign of spiritual strength. We should choose useful speech, seek reconciliation, and begin difficult conversations from common ground. When conflict has already happened, we should work to repair it rather than carrying it forward. After prayer, the community was also urged to vote early and participate in decisions affecting local families.

  1. What helps you stop before an argument goes too far?
  2. How can we make peace after a disagreement at home?
  3. What does starting from common ground look like in our family?