Controlling the tongue protects the heart
“If you want to enjoy conversation with God in this month, control the tongue.”
A healthy Muslim heart and community are built by forming and maintaining righteous friendships while disciplining the tongue through silence, avoiding gossip, and speaking with wisdom.
The khutbah in 6 steps
- Friendship and companionship are spiritual and moral assets that shape character.
- Imam Ali and the Prophet teach initiating and maintaining good friendships.
- Surah al-Hujurat presents knowing one another and community connection as religious purposes.
- Ramadan requires restraining the tongue from gossip, idle talk, and backbiting.
- Intentional silence protects against unjust attacks and creates space for contemplation.
- Controlling the tongue produces wiser speech and is linked to spiritual success and Paradise.
In the khateeb's words
“Friends and Ikhwan, brothers and sisters are an asset for us. Sometimes the asset is material, sometimes the asset is social and moral and spiritual.”
“if you want to enjoy conversation with god in this month control the tongue try to exercise silence the more you exercise silence the more you're going to be able to speak to the source of the truth”
“this silence is not emptiness this silence is not weakness i'm doing it with intention for the sake of god and this is how you purify yourself”
“if you promise me to control your tongue if you control your tongue you will be with me i will guide you i will walk with you”
For the dinner table
The khateeb reminded us that good friends are a spiritual gift, and that our words and behavior help us keep those friendships. He encouraged us to introduce ourselves, listen to others, and help people feel welcome in our community. He also taught that Ramadan asks us to control our tongues as well as stay away from food and drink. Gossip and hurtful speech can keep our hearts from enjoying the Qur’an and conversation with Allah. Silence with a good intention can give us room to reflect, avoid answering insults with more hurt, and speak with greater wisdom when words are needed.
- What could you say to help someone new feel included at the masjid or school?
- When a conversation turns into gossip, how could you help it change direction?
- How could taking a quiet moment before answering help you choose kinder words?
More on Character & conduct
The strong is the one who controls himself while in anger.10:16Masjid Al-Noor · Waterloo, IA · Oct 31, 2026Control anger before it causes harm
Peer pressure is an issue that is just as applicable to adults as it is to children.5:08The Rayyan Center · Plymouth, MI · Oct 31, 2026Adults must choose their influences
Lowering your gaze is cleaner to your heart and fulfilling the amanah that Allah gave you.1:03:23Rahma Center · Lake Forest, CA · Oct 30, 2026Every trust from Allah must be honored