Character & conductFrom the masjid's own video, Feb 21, 2026.

Controlling the tongue protects the heart

“If you want to enjoy conversation with God in this month, control the tongue.”

The khateeb, at 14:02

In one sentence

A healthy Muslim heart and community are built by forming and maintaining righteous friendships while disciplining the tongue through silence, avoiding gossip, and speaking with wisdom.

The khutbah in 6 steps

  1. Friendship and companionship are spiritual and moral assets that shape character.
  2. Imam Ali and the Prophet teach initiating and maintaining good friendships.
  3. Surah al-Hujurat presents knowing one another and community connection as religious purposes.
  4. Ramadan requires restraining the tongue from gossip, idle talk, and backbiting.
  5. Intentional silence protects against unjust attacks and creates space for contemplation.
  6. Controlling the tongue produces wiser speech and is linked to spiritual success and Paradise.
Try this week
Initiate conversations at mosques and gatherings by asking people their names, origins, and work.
Maintain friendships through kindness, attentiveness, advice, and respectful behavior.
During Ramadan, reduce idle talk, gossip, backbiting, and tale-bearing.
Practice intentional silence when responding would only engage ignorant or foolish attacks.
Use quiet time for reflection, Qur'an, and conversation with God.
Sources the khateeb cited
Surah 49Used to argue that people should know one another, connect, and work together.
Quotes

In the khateeb's words

“Friends and Ikhwan, brothers and sisters are an asset for us. Sometimes the asset is material, sometimes the asset is social and moral and spiritual.”
IECOC · Costa Mesa, CA
Play from 0:41
“if you want to enjoy conversation with god in this month control the tongue try to exercise silence the more you exercise silence the more you're going to be able to speak to the source of the truth”
IECOC · Costa Mesa, CA
Play from 14:02
“this silence is not emptiness this silence is not weakness i'm doing it with intention for the sake of god and this is how you purify yourself”
IECOC · Costa Mesa, CA
Play from 17:22
“if you promise me to control your tongue if you control your tongue you will be with me i will guide you i will walk with you”
IECOC · Costa Mesa, CA
Play from 21:56
Talk about it at home

For the dinner table

The khateeb reminded us that good friends are a spiritual gift, and that our words and behavior help us keep those friendships. He encouraged us to introduce ourselves, listen to others, and help people feel welcome in our community. He also taught that Ramadan asks us to control our tongues as well as stay away from food and drink. Gossip and hurtful speech can keep our hearts from enjoying the Qur’an and conversation with Allah. Silence with a good intention can give us room to reflect, avoid answering insults with more hurt, and speak with greater wisdom when words are needed.

  1. What could you say to help someone new feel included at the masjid or school?
  2. When a conversation turns into gossip, how could you help it change direction?
  3. How could taking a quiet moment before answering help you choose kinder words?