Character & conductFrom the masjid's own video, Nov 3, 2025.
Advice begins with accepting advice
“We like to give advice, but we cannot accept advice.”
In one sentence
Giving nasiha responsibly requires accepting advice ourselves, correcting privately and contextually, offering hope, and addressing wrongdoing without degrading the person.
The khutbah in 5 steps
- Opens with prayers for the deceased and sick, followed by a reminder to respect the Jumu'ah khutbah.
- Uses Umar ibn al-Khattab to establish that those who give advice must also accept it.
- Teaches private or anonymous correction that lifts people rather than humiliating them.
- Uses a vulnerable child and Hatib ibn Abi Balta'a to emphasize understanding context before judging.
- Advocates hopeful correction and separating the wrongdoing from the wrongdoer, then summarizes five principles.
Try this week
Be willing to accept advice before giving advice to others.
Correct people privately, or keep their identity anonymous when addressing an issue publicly.
Understand the person's story and circumstances before correcting them.
Correct with gentleness, hope, and dua rather than harshness.
Address the wrongdoing while affirming the person's dignity and avoiding personal attacks.
Put away phones and pay attention during the Jumu'ah khutbah.
Quotes
In the khateeb's words
“We like to give advice. But we cannot accept advice. We spot the flaws in other people. But we're very blind to our own flaws.”
“Your correction. Your nasiha and your advice. Should lift them. It should not shame them. And put them down.”
“That sometimes we just need to take a simple step back. And sit down with that person. And understand their story.”
“You are trying to correct the problem. You are not trying to attack them. You despise the crime. Not the criminal.”
Talk about it at home
For the dinner table
The khutbah teaches that giving good advice begins with being willing to receive advice ourselves. When someone makes a mistake, we should speak privately or protect their identity, first try to understand what they are facing, and correct them with gentleness and hope. We should challenge the wrong action without treating the person as worthless, and we should make dua for people who are struggling. The goal of nasiha is to lift people toward better choices, not to shame them.
- When has understanding someone's story changed how you viewed their behavior?
- What is the difference between correcting an action and attacking a person?
- How can we give someone hope while helping them improve?
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