3:41 this disagreement…9:12 whenever we are…23:33 the real path is when…26:24 the most beautiful act…
Character & conductFrom the masjid's own video, Jan 31, 2026.

Resolve disagreements with humility and self-control

IECOC · Moustafa Al-Qazwini

“Love for others what you love for yourself.”

The khateeb, at 23:33

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In one sentence

Because disagreement is unavoidable, Muslims should handle it through mutual rights, self-control, justice, humility, forgiveness, and the golden rule so worship produces peaceful relationships.

The khutbah in 7 steps

  1. Human differences are intentional, so disagreement should not destroy family, friendships, or community ties.
  2. Recognizing reciprocal rights prevents selfishness and reduces conflict.
  3. Reason, wisdom, self-control, and justice should replace anger, including toward perceived enemies.
  4. Humility, concessions, flexibility, forgiveness, and apologies preserve relationships.
  5. Imam Ali's golden rule, loving for others what one loves for oneself, is presented as a path to happiness.
  6. Good character appears in consideration for neighbors and humility about one's knowledge.
  7. The khutbah closes with prayers for peace and protection amid wartime tensions.
Try this week
Acknowledge both sides' rights in family, marital, and community disputes.
Replace anger and emotional reactions with reason, wisdom, logic, and self-control.
Practice humility, flexibility, concessions, forgiveness, and initiating apologies.
Love for others what you love for yourself; do not wrong others and do good to them.
Be considerate of neighbors and people waiting in public places.
Admit when you do not know an answer and verify it before responding.
After every prayer, ask Allah for peace and protection for people of justice and faith.
Sources the khateeb cited
Quran 2:228Marital rights are reciprocal, so neither spouse should focus only on personal rights.
Quran 5:8Hatred must not prevent justice, even toward an enemy.
Quran 26:215Lowering one's wing to believers supports humility and concession.
Quran 91:9-10True success is linked to refining the soul rather than accumulating possessions.
Quotes

In the khateeb's words

“this disagreement should not be the cause for rift or hatred or disrespect or breaking up your marriage or your friendship with people”
IECOC · Costa Mesa, CA
Play from 3:41
“whenever we are emotional in any conflict we are going to lose whenever we are rational and logical and reasonable in any confrontation we are going to win”
IECOC · Costa Mesa, CA
Play from 9:12
“the real path is when you love for others what you love for yourself love for others what you love for yourself”
IECOC · Costa Mesa, CA
Play from 23:33
“the most beautiful act of akhlaq is when you are thoughtful and considerate be considerate and thoughtful be aware of the environment around you”
IECOC · Costa Mesa, CA
Play from 26:24
Talk about it at home

For the dinner table

The khutbah teaches that disagreement is a normal part of human relationships because people are created with different personalities and perspectives. Islam asks us to remember that every person has rights, control anger, and remain just even when we feel wronged. We should lower our pride, make concessions, forgive, apologize, and treat others as we would want to be treated. Good character appears in everyday behavior toward spouses, neighbors, friends, and strangers, and worship is weakened when we hurt people. The speaker also urges us to keep learning, admit when we do not know something, and pray for peace and protection from harm.

  1. What can we do when we feel too angry to talk kindly?
  2. How can we show someone today that we care about their rights?
  3. What is one thing you enjoy that you could also wish for someone else?
Where it was given

The masjid

Islamic Educational Center of Orange County3194-B Airport Loop Dr, Costa Mesa, CA 92626KhateebMoustafa Al-QazwiniMore khutbahsArchiveAll khutbahs at IECOC44 khutbahs
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